I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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