Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
time to smoke my breakfast
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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