bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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