Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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