I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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