i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
