After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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