brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
