i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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