I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
