paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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