I wish I could punch you in the face.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
