his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
