we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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