he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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