You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
