I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
