i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
are you so shy because you have an std?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
