it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
