You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
