i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
