She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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