She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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