this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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