i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's never too late to be topless.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
