@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
