You can't motorboat a personality
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
