Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
