If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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