Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
