Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
