i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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