i wish starbucks made bloody marys
what day is it and did you see me today?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
