Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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