could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
