Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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