just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
