This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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