it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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