he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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