He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
