I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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