so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
