A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let's get the cat blown out
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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