sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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