He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
