Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
