I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
