you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
