Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
