I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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