hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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